Useless Column: Ghana to spoil Nigeria's jollof?

“Odeneku passes the ball to Okenedu. Oh no, it’s Okenedu who heads it away!” The commentary is lively. By the end, you won’t know who passed to whom! Welcome, our beloved cousins from Naija!

Finidi George passes to Friday Elahor. Emmanuel Armah ‘Senegal’ of Ghana intercepts but loses it to Sunday Oliseh. Oliseh sends a long pass that Mohammed Gago heads away.

Ghana gets a throw-in. The Nigerians look nervous in their box. Stephen Keshi remains calm; he was a tough defender (may his soul rest in peace). CK Akonnor tries to score from 30 yards after Abedi Pele's back pass but misses. CK scored many important goals for Ghana with his left foot.

Stephen Keshi quickly chests the ball and kicks it to Friday Ekpoh. But oh no, Ekpoh is down with an injury, possibly a torn ligament. Kwame Ayew deliberately kicks the ball into safety after the referee blows his whistle for a foul.

Who is down? Thank goodness it's Ghana vs Nigeria again! It’s not Friday Ekpoh this time; it's Friday Elahor who is down!

When Africa needs excitement, we organize football matches between these two countries. The world wakes up just like a congregation does when a boring pastor changes topics!

Let’s enjoy some light-hearted fun while we wait for tonight's match between Ghana's Black Stars and Nigeria's Super Eagles. It’s just friendly competition between us and our God-given cousins.

The previous line-up included names like Abedi Ayew Pele, Tony Yeboah, and CK Akonnor from AFCON 1992 and 1994. They didn’t win the trophy but brought us joy.

This squad faced familiar Nigerian players like Friday Okpoh, Daniel Amokachi, and Austin Okocha among others. Finidi George had a name that commentators loved to pronounce! Where are you now, Egbon Finidi George? Everything cool?

A few years ago, I heard Yakubu Ayigbeni on JOY FM discussing AFCON 2008 hosted by Ghana. He humorously offered to loan strikers to Ghana if needed! It was nostalgic listening to him.

Language connects us all despite differences. For example, the Yoruba word for ‘blacksmith’ is ‘agbede,’ similar to how Ewes call it too!

There are words common in Yoruba and Ewe languages but with different meanings. I found it amusing when everyone called me ‘Egbon.’ Ask any Volta man what it means!

Football happens on the field; jollof is made in the kitchen! There’s an anecdote about how Nigerian jollof came about after someone visited Ghanaian weddings.

A Nigerian lady tasted jollof at a wedding and shared her experience with her husband back home. She suggested mixing rice into watery stew based on what she saw in Ghana – thus giving birth to Nigerian jollof!

In reality, Ghanaian jollof remains original unless prepared poorly by someone unfamiliar with cooking techniques.

We share many similarities yet have unique cultural nuances too! One funny example involves how Yoruba people describe a savings box: “that box where you put something small every day until it becomes pregnant.”

It’s called ‘kl.’ Fill in the gaps correctly or you’ll get it wrong! You can use this word in sentences too: “Can I open your kl?” Just don’t wait for an answer!

In my language, that term refers humorously to something else entirely related to married life! The Bible says husbands should enjoy their wives—there’s your clue!

Tonight's clash between Ghana and Nigeria may highlight both our commonalities and differences—but let them have their playful rivalry.

Just be happy because if they team up against you one day—you’re finished! My dream is for Ghana and Nigeria to form one soccer team someday against the world—that would create excitement!

For now, let us enjoy our friendly rivalry for 90 minutes—but remember to eat your jollof first!