Useless Column: Oga landlord

Why Do Men Make Sounds in Public Restrooms?

When men use public restrooms, gas often escapes. I just returned from Kumasi. While stopping at Bunso, I noticed this phenomenon. Most men urinating were making loud sounds without shame.

This reminds me of my male goat at home. It coughs and then…poon! God created natural exhaust pipes for men when they urinate. I’m not sure about women, but they might also make sounds quietly in the ‘Ladies’ room.

I remember an encounter between my brother Abraham and our father. My brother was furious after catching Papa with another woman. He advised him against such “ungodly acts.” Thankfully, our mum had no idea about it.

In response, Papa simply said to my brother: “Who no grow, go grow.”

Eventually, my brother grew up and got married. One day, I caught him with another woman in a compromising position. The next morning, I advised him to be faithful to his wife according to the Bible.

He responded with: “Who no grow, go grow,” and walked away. Really?

Now let’s talk about landlords and property ownership. Who should we call landlord or landlady? You might call someone “Oga Landlord” even if they own real estate elsewhere.

Building a house is challenging. My former boss once told me that every cement block matters in construction. Some people think buying land far away is too much trouble until they try to build in prime areas.

Now that I'm grown and married, my children are still too young to advise me on anything! Sin fascinates but can also be dangerous! Side relationships can cause stress and health issues.

COVID-19 is now five years old but HIV remains a concern. Many married men followed safety protocols during COVID but ignored condom use completely.

The fear of knowing your HIV status can be overwhelming. But you should get tested; you might be lucky! Whether positive or negative, we all face death eventually.

In Nigeria, if all the ‘Gents’ stalls are occupied while the ‘Ladies’ stalls are free, do you expect someone to wait? If nature calls urgently, waiting isn’t an option!

The term "Oga Landlord" reflects a master-subordinate relationship or buyer-seller dynamic. There’s debate over how we should address superiors—“Good morning Sir” or “Good morning Madam.”

Some of us skipped nursery school before entering class one! After secondary school and university, we enter the workforce where some say everyone is equal.

Suddenly you’re expected to call your boss by their first name? This shift promotes disrespect rather than equality in corporate culture.

Imagine addressing a judge by their first name in court! That would not end well for you! We need respect for seniority; it shows proper etiquette.

University students shouldn’t think it’s acceptable to call Vice-Chancellors by their first names either! Corporate culture cannot erase what we've learned from childhood through university education.

Addressing superiors casually may lead to missed promotions despite hard work and prayers for intervention!

If you're ever in court, don’t dare address the presiding judge informally! Westerners admire our culture; using polite language makes them feel good about us!

I’ve never seen a white person named Kofi here; yet many Ghanaians adopt foreign names without thought—this is why I keep mine simple!

For journalists interviewing public officials, it's fine to use titles like Prof or Hon when appropriate.

If you've risen through military ranks only to call your superior by their first name—good luck with that!

Have a great weekend! And remember not to leave your car with untrustworthy mechanics—they're stealing catalytic converters these days—I’ve been a victim twice!