Marriage is a scam – Nigerian woman recounts childhood trauma

A Nigerian woman, a social media influencer, has sparked online discussions. She shared her painful views on marriage during a podcast.

Her emotional comments reflect childhood trauma and distrust of marriage. Many listeners resonated with her experiences on social media.

“If you mention marriage to me, I feel like it’s a scam,” she said. The influencer, who remains unnamed, explained her disillusionment stems from her mother’s experiences. Her mother faced domestic abuse from her father.

“I didn’t want to get married,” she expressed. She questioned if anyone would want her to endure what her mom did. “A man subjects you; you don’t have a voice,” she added.

The most haunting part of her story was about witnessing violence as a child. She recalled seeing her father assaulting her pregnant mother. “I saw my dad beat my mom when she was pregnant,” she said.

She described how he trampled on her mother's belly in anger. “I watched him step on my mom’s tummy like it was nothing,” she recounted. Miraculously, her mother carried the pregnancy to term and gave birth after 11 months.

This trauma shaped her worldview and never left her mind. “Every man that comes to me, once you say ‘I want to marry,’ I’ll just think of my father,” she admitted.

She also shared about a suitor who seemed kind but triggered fear in her. He was an older man who took care of household duties—shopping and cooking—but this made her uneasy.

“I just saw him as someone who would cage me,” she explained. Even his acts of care felt controlling to her. When he asked for marriage, he tried to change their shopping list, reminding her of how her dad treated her mom.